Six Reasons Some Expats Feel "Forced" to Leave Ecuador and Return 'Home," and How to Avoid These Problems

Six Reasons Some Expats Feel “Forced” to Leave Ecuador and Return ‘Home,’ and How to Avoid Those Problems

Whenever someone comes to my office, and says they are packing up and going home, I tend to feel sorry for them and think that perhaps this conclusion could have been avoided. Here are some reasons why people get themselves to this place.

1.   Paperwork

Some expats come to Ecuador, intending to stay, and either do not know what paperwork they need to have to obtain a residential visa, or intend to have the paperwork mailed to them in Ecuador. This seems to be a particularly difficult problem for persons who cannot document events that lead to their current name being different from that on their birth certificate. The solution is simple. First, work with the designated Ecuadorian consulate to determine what paperwork is needed, and second, have it all before getting on the plane.

2.   Family Problems

One characteristic of families is that all members of a family get used to treating each other in a particular way. When a family member disrupts the system (by, for instance, leaving) other family members often work to undue that change and return the system to ‘normal.’ Even if that ‘normal’ is dysfunctional, it is still what family members are used to and want to see again.

Expats new to Ecuador who decide they must go home to fix a family problem are not likely to return. This problem tends to affect daughters of aging parents the most, since they usually get the role of being their parents’ caretakers. This attribution from other family members is unfair, but still exists. The solution is to have those ‘What if’ conversations with family members before leaving for Ecuador, and then resolutely sticking to those decisions. If such discussions did not happen before you left, quietly figure out what you want to do. Write down those intentions and stick to them.

3.   No Experience Moving

Some expats move here and it is the first major move of their life. The problem is that there are many things different when one moves. Changes might include, for example,

• ·        how people talk,
• ·        what they talk about,
• ·        foods available,
• ·        recreation available,
• ·        jobs available and how to apply for them,
• ·        how to find favorite foods in the grocery store,
• ·        how to make new friends,
• ·        how to stay in touch with old friends,
• ·        how phones and phone numbers work,
• ·        how the bus system works
• ·        how taxis and cars travel,
• ·        how to find new doctors and hospitals,
• ·        how to start a new business,
• ·        the new look of some currency,
• ·        how addresses are written,
• ·        how to send and receive mail,
• ·        and many other things. 

Change is generally tough for people, and a lot of change is sometimes too much. A successful move to Ecuador is more likely if someone has moved before, even if only a small move. It may help to write down things that have not changed since your move – like how you do laundry.

4.   All Push – No Pull

If someone is moving to Ecuador because they say they don’t like XXXX (whatever “XXXX” is) and that is the only reason, they are going to have trouble with the move. [In my opinion, the most ironic are the people who move to Ecuador, a country with a three-term successful socialist President, because they say they do not like “socialism” in the US.] You should have some things to look forward to doing, not just things you are leaving. Generally speaking, people who move to leave problems, find the same problems are in their new location when they arrive. 

5.   Feeling Lonely

Making new friends takes work, no doubt about it. A reasonable goal might be spending ten to twenty hours per week meeting new people, or spending time with new friends you have met. A person can meet new people in Ecuador by going to places where other new people spend time. Since you are reading this article, you are able to access the Internet. So read the www.gingotree.com,  and www.gringopost.com, every day, 9there are other sites also) and attend some of the events suggested. Be assertive. Introduce yourself to people you overhear who sound interesting. After a few weeks, you will have friends; but it takes work to get there.

So consider these concerns in your move, and enjoy the adventure of moving to Ecuador!

Fred J. Klopfer, Ph.D. is a practicing clinical psychologist with 40 years’ experience who is accepting new clients. Read more about his practice at www.fredklopfer.com. He can be reached on his cell phone at 099-428-0580.